Meeting of the Demacian s
by SPeCCoLT
Summary: A meeting with all off Demacia s honroable champions could only be serious and stern... Or maybe not? Rated T for swear-words and the use of the word s-p-u-n... you get it. Enjoy and don t take it for serious!


**Hey! I just came up with this craziness and decided to post it! Because fuck you Teemo, That´s why!**

The Demacian meeting room in the Institute of War was filled with all of the Demacian champions and they all chatted idly while they waited for Jarvan IV, which would be holding the meeting. Garen hid his hulking form behind a pot plant in the corner of the room while he muttered Demacia all the time. Lux was jumping up and down in her seat in glee while Fiora tried to tell her that a noble woman doesn´t act like that. Galio and Poppy were sitting at the front row in silence and Vayne were trying to keep up her dorky attitude. Shyvana was waving a big flag with the words 'JARVAN IV3' written with big letters on it. Quinn though was just annoyed with Shyvana since she also had a crush on Jarvan, Valor just sat on Quinn´s backrest with a mildly amused look.

Suddenly the Crown prince walked on stage and the chatter died down at once… except for Shyvana and Quinn arguing about who was best suited for Jarvan. Jarvan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"Garen could you please…?"

"DEMACIAAAAAAA!"

The two angry women instantly stopped arguing out of shock.

"Thank you Garen."

"Demaciaaa…"

Jarvan cleared his throat before he began to speak.

"Welcome everyone to the monthly meeting. Today we will bring up the following issues… Issue number one, Sona asks me here if she could start wearing something less revealing than her current outfit. Her request could sadly enough not be granted since her outfits current state gives Demacia a lot of free publicity… and free eye candy according to the voting between the male Demacian champions, myself included." Sona stormed out of the room, slapping Garen in his hiding spot on her way out.

"Demacia…" Muttered Garen, while he stroked his now red cheek.

Jarvan ignored the scene and continued… "Issue number two, I would like volunteers for a dangerous mission within the league, to eliminate Teemo. That little fuck got mushroom shit on my best armor and needs to be put down… Now who volunteers?"

Everyone present raised their hands.

"Great! But I only need one for this job… Vayne you´re up for it."

"I purify all evil!" was her only words as she rolled out through the door.

"On to the next topic, Lux asks if we could have a dress up party this weekend where we all will dress up as teddy bears and princesses… I approve this but will let Xin Zhao go in my place dressed in my own Urf suit."

Xin Zhao who were standing besides Jarvan groaned in annoyance, which Jarvan ignored him and moved on… again…

And next is… Setting up spy cameras in the following champions rooms, hrmhrhrm… Katarina, Riven, Morgana, Leblanc and Talon´s room as requested from a certain person…" He looked over at Lux who tried to hide her blush. "All this to uhm… retrieve critical uhh… mission data for an upcoming League match against Noxus. And the last one for perverted purposes… any questions?"

Shyvana raised her hand.

"Yes Shyv?"

"Can I ma…"

"Okay no questions this meeting is now adjourned!" Jarvan turned on his heel and left the stage with Xin on his heels with a bitter expression on his face. Quinn was laughing at Shyvana for the diss Jarvan pulled on her while the rest of the champions left the room and Garen carried the plant pot with him, still hiding.

"You see hothead, Jarvan likes me more which is why he didn´t give care about hearing you out." Quinn was leaning back in her seat obviously enjoying herself.

"NO HE CARES ABOUT ME MORE!" Screamed Shyvana hysterically while Quinn kept cool and chuckled at her childishness.

"Then why did he invite me to his room tomorrow evening? Discussing battle tactics?"

Shyvana became mad at once upon hearing this and it began to stream steam from her ears and nose. "YOU FUCKING BIRDBRAIN! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY JARVAN!"

"Oh take it easy I will not, except if he touches me first… I can´t say no to my prince you know?" Quinn was practically grinning ear to ear at the moment. Valor was not amused.

"I will fucking kill you… you! … You damn Princesnatching birdloving demacytard!" Those were last mildly intelligible words the both of them said before they began to fight. Everyone in the female audience still left facepalmed while the males where cheering them on yelling "Catfight WOOOO!"

Backstage…

"Oh god why won't they understand that the one and only I love is… my right hand! Don't worray right hand I will not leave you, Tryndamere taught me how to date you an he is the master. The master knows best."

Jarvan began to whistle as he used his right hand to comb his hair with a… comb.

"Damn I need more spunk for my hair to hold…"

"Demacia…" Those were the last words before Jarvan got silenced by Garen, with a kick to his royal crown jewels. "No fapping MY PRINCE, your mother has strongly forbidden you!"

"But I have to!"

"No! I WILL NOT FALTER!"

"You´re not my mom!"

"No Jarvan… I am your father!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The end… or is it?

**If you hate how I make fun of your favorite demacians, go push you limp member into your anal entry-point. JK but for real this is purely for troll-writing don´t take this seriously!**


End file.
